So you are thinking about getting married when? vision 2020 or 2018? The time doesn’t matter now, but how well are you preparing? oh! you thought i meant for the wedding? nope! I meant for the marriage. most times, if not all the time, ask a would-be groom or bride ‘how is the preparation coming up? And what you will hear is “I am searching for the perfect suit/gown, we are yet to book a venue, we have decided on the types of food that will be on the menu, and many others.
But it is dangerous to spend all your time preparing for the wedding – a day event while you neglect marriage. How pruned is your character? How well can you manage the ‘for worse’ of another person? check out this list of some traits that shows a person is not yet ready for marriage. If you ‘test positive’ to any of them, it is important you make the necessary adjustment, please don’t ignore. Here is the list
1. You kiss and tell:
I know you will think this is a woman thing? nope, some men actually do this than women. Some people can’t just keep a sealed lip, must you tell your friend(s) everything that happened in your relationship? If you can’t keep calm because your boyfriend/girlfriend pissed you off, and you must rush off to talk to someone else about it, how will you cope in marriage? It is a union between two, bring in the third party and there is an imminent trouble.
2. You don’t share your space: I know we all love to be alone sometimes, but to be alone all the time? haba! Friends come over and you nag so much they wonder why they are with you, you don’t like people coming around and even when you are in an open place you will rather be alone and God helps anyone who tries to come closer. Save me the ‘i am an introvert bullshit’, introverts aren’t alien from another planet that need to be kept at an arm’s length. when you get married, you will be living with a man or a woman forever and ever, 24/7, no break, no time out even when you are not around physically, you owe must keep in touch. Not just your spouse, there will be in-laws, relatives coming around, but here you are, you can’t even live with a roommate successfully for two weeks, how then do you intend to cope?
3. You don’t forgive:
Yes, you said you have forgiven but you don’t really forgive, deep down, you are still holding grudges while you look for ways to revenge or call it pay back. Unforgiveness is one of the things that kill relationships prematurely. Learn to let go of hurts and pain. Why on earth will you start mentioning incidences that you said you have forgiven each time something new happens? unforgiveness is bad for your health and bad for your relationship.
4. You transfer aggression:
I use to say that transfer of aggression is a display of madness, you know something happened to you but those at the receiving end of your anger can’t figure out what is wrong with you. If you have this habit, you will notice those around you suffers most, but when you get married, your wife/husband will receive more of your aggression. How much can a person take?
5. You can’t take care of yourself:
You can’t take care and take charge of your life and you want to add one more life? Really? Going into marriage with the mindset that the other person will take care of you and all you need do is sit down, relax and enjoy is wrong. Getting married means you will be taking care of two-person now, but how can you take care of someone else when you can’t take care of yourself?
6. You are grossly irresponsible:
And unreliable. You are never on time for anything, you forget even the very important appointments, you break promises and no one believe what you say. You may want to work real hard on that before thinking about marriage.
7. You are selfish:
Getting married means you have to share all you have with your new family, even your very life. but how will you be able to do that when the only thing you know how to do think about yourself alone? time to get rid of the me, myself and I syndrome.
8. You hate being corrected:
I have seen very good people, but i have never seen a perfect person. We all need punning and corrections and marriage is one place you will get loads of it, so start getting used to taking corrections.
The list is endless, but the most important thing is that you should start minding your character, behavior, actions and even reactions. Evaluate yourself and make corrections where necessary, that’s how the better becomes the best.